Happy Whore-oween!

I don't begrudge anyone having a nice body, especially if they work really hard to achieve and/or maintain that body and aren't just lucky with genetics. It's spectacular that you take care of yourself, especially when the obesity rate in America is what, 75% now? Howeverrrrrr, I am tired of every frikkin costume for women being, "Slutty ______."

Slutty witch, slutty pirate, slutty fairy, slutty nurse, slutty teacher, slutty santa, slutty doctor, slutty Rainbow Brite, slutty maid, slutty sailor, slutty schoolgirl, slutty Alice in Wonderland, slutty cat, I've even seen slutty CANDY CORN! WTF?! Not only are you ruining my childhood heroes, you're making a Halloween party look like a low-budget porn set. Well, maybe some parties are and I've been going to the wrong ones, but still!

You can be extremely sexy without looking cheap. Thumb through a photobook of Marilyn Monroe if you don't believe me. A run of the mill, made in China, low quality "satin," piece of crap created by child labor that you got at Party City for $29.99 does not help you with this endeavor. Pride and confidence are sexy, and the aforementioned costumes scream, "I reeeeeeaaaaaally need attention, but I can't be bothered to come up with anything creative. So, I'll run to the store at the last minute and see what slut wear they have left. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEEE!"

If you have a great body, but you have to beg for attention then....Self Esteem: ur doin it wrong. It doesn't make you look sexy, it makes you look cheap...unless of course half drunk frat boys are your target of interest. In which case, carry on. I would begrudge no one admittedly looking for a cheap lay.

Of course, it's your body, it's your costume, do what you want, but why would you want to look like a cheap skank when you could just as easily look like a creative hottie with a bit of class? A little allure is way sexier than just throwin' all your goods out there. You should have have people begging for your attention, not the other way around.